Catholic Church

One of the issues that arises for people as they grieve is the subject of closure.  Some well-meaning persons in our society (that may include some family members and friends) would have us bring the process of grieving to a close at some point along the journey of grief.  They are yearning to see and relate to the “old us”- the one who is socially engaged, ever ready to reach out and help others, etc.  The changes that grief effects upon a person doesn’t necessarily let that happen.  The “old us” becomes a “new us” with values and life goals that have been re-processed and re-prioritized to create a “new normal” state of being.

The question, then, is : “Is there closure after a loss?”  There can  and should be some closure to the experiences  of deep pain, longing, and missing.  Staying with these feelings inhibits the moving forward that one needs and that the deceased persons  would desire for us.  Pain softens in time only to be renewed in a more gentle manner when special occasions remind us that someone very dear is missing from our midst.

One never forgets, however, what was.  Love is still there, memories are still there,  and both will always be in the minds and hearts of those who grieve.  Therefore, there can’t  be true closure in grief.

Another form of closure spoken about and related to grief occurs when  family and friends have the realization that their loved one has truly died.  This happens during the uncertainties of war and natural disasters like floods, hurricanes, tsunamis, as well as accidents, etc.  With this certainty the beloved can begin their grieving process.

So, we will conclude this grief message with the assurance that in most circumstances grieving will not entail a final period of dismissal or closure.   As long as loving memories of our deceased persons  persist throughout our lives in our hearts and minds they are with us, never to be forgotten.


On a completely different note I would like to extend to any persons, who have experienced a loss and are grieving, the invitation to join the Grief Support Group that is held at St. Matthias the Apostle Parish.  The group will resume weekly sessions on the second Saturday of September (9/9/17) and new members are welcomed.  The group meets in the school library  {St. Matthias School} at 9 AM. The address is 9475 Annapolis Rd. in  Lanham, MD 20706.  If anyone would like more information feel free to contact:  Miriam Jacik, the Grief Coordinator at (301) 345-6054.

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