Saint Matthias the Apostle

Catholic Church

Grief Briefs Part 3

The holidays are fast approaching and, no doubt, have induced a lot of concern among grieving persons.  Because the holidays of : Thanksgiving,  Hanukka, Christmas, Kwanza, and New Years entail a coming together of friends and family, the absence of a significant other who has died is keenly felt.

To manage some of the stress-filled and foreboding thoughts and feelings regarding holiday celebrations it is wise to  approach  each event one by one. Looking at what one will do to prepare for each special occasion requires a peaceful spirit and a practical mindset.  Things this year, and years to come, will be different.  There is a deep absence felt.

Planning ahead in one’s own mind is quite important-“What do I want to do?”, “How do I want events to unfold so that I am comfortable?”  Including family and friends in the planning process is also very necessary.  A rule of thumb is to simplify what is done and how it will be done.  All need to be involved in the planning and the carrying out of the  plans upon which the majority agree. Some will believe that all can go on “just as it used to be”  Not so! Someone will be missing.  What will not and should not change, however, is the coming together of friends and family members to share love and caring

Caring for oneself is a very necessary part of  getting through the holidays with ease and grace.  Consider what will be helpful and healing to you and choose that. Holidays are not a time for the grieving person to be alone or to retreat from all that could bring joy.

To share some of the ideas just discussed, St. Matthias is hosting its annual Pre-Holiday Workshop , to be held on November 19th ( the Saturday before Thanksgiving) from 10 AM to 12 Noon at its school.  All grieving persons and their loved ones are welcomed to attend.

The address is:  St. Matthias School    9475 Annapolis Rd.  Lanham, MD 20770

If you would like more information feel free to contact: Miriam Jacik, the Grief Coordinator  at  (301) 345-6054, or just feel free to join us at the workshop.                                                                                        

The first grief note posted ended with the thought that family and friends can be the sustaining force and a great source of strength  for those who are grieving.  Because the grieving process is long, with some days being more difficult than others a support team is a must.  Members of that team need not entail a multiplicity of persons.  As few as 2 or 3 persons with caring hearts, ears willing to listen when the need arises, and a ready spirit to be there for you will suffice.

Because family members are themselves grieving persons, having trusted friends could be very helpful to form your support team.  It is amazing how friends from one’s past can serve as the needed support persons.  If your support persons have themselves experienced a loss or losses in their lives, this is a plus.  They will be able to readily relate to your experiences.

In selecting your support team members the persons to be avoided are those  who believe that they can “fix you” as you  proceed into the future with your life.  Those who impose suggestions, give what they consider to be wise counsel,  the criticizers, and those who would rush you through your grief are to be eliminated from your list of support persons.

Take enough time to select well, and by all means ask our dear God for the wisdom to know who best will assist you.  Having caring others to accompany you as you grieve, no matter how long the journey takes, is a true gift.  Once you have received the commitment of your support team, be sure to express your gratitude to them periodically for the gift that their presence is to you.

As a follow-up to the information about the on-going Grief Support Group at St. Matthias Church in Lanham, there will be forth-coming grief notes to be shared with you, our readers.

Losses are much a part of each of our lives. Some are smaller losses, others are significant and heart-breaking.

Our smaller losses we experience for a much shorter period of time.  We feel the disappointment, some sadness, or perhaps shed some tears.  In several hours or perhaps in a few days we let go of some of the feelings and expectations we had, and are able to move on to other things in our lives.

Bigger losses, that bring more serious consequences, are those that entail losing a loved one to death or though divorce; losing health through a serious illness; or perhaps losing one’s financial well-being.  The serious consequences include a deep sense of sadness and a feeling of complete disruption of one’s life.  We grieve these losses for weeks, months, or perhaps a year or years. During that time we shed our tears, reminisce what we had, process our deep feelings, and expect healing to occur in time. This is grief, a process we can’t avoid or easily dismiss.  It is a process through which each person must pass despite its difficulty.  The love of family and friends can be our sustaining force.

A Memorial Mass for David Bernstein will be held Saturday, September 17th, 11:00 a.m., at St. Matthias the Apostle Church, 9475 Annapolis Road, Lanham, MD.  The family will receive visitors from 10:00 – 11:00 a.m. at the Church.  As an expression of sympathy, memorial contributions may be made to St. Matthias the Apostle Church.

Madeline White’s husband Earl White has passed away. Information on the services to follow.

 

Comments

My heart aches at the loss of a very dear friend. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and loved ones.
Bless you, Madeline.
Love, Rick.

 

St. Matthias the Apostle Parish welcomes those who have faced a significant loss to join its on-going Grief Support Group. Participants experience the support and caring of other grieving persons, as well as receive helpful information about grieving and the grief process. Sessions are held every Saturday from 9 – 10:30 AM in the school library.

New members will be integrated into the group beginning with the week of September 24th.
For more information contact: Miriam Jacik MSN, MS Psy, the Group Coordinator at (301) 345-6054. Or you just may feel free to come.

Comments

Miriam is the best of the best. You feel so much better after attending the group sessions.  You can share with the group if you want and hear that you are not alone in your grief process. Just go and see what will happen to you.

Billy O’Connor, parishioner of St. Matthias the Apostle Church, died Sunday, July 31, 2016.

Funeral Arrangements for Billy O’Connor:

Thursday, August 4, 2016: Visitation from 10:00 a.m.–11:00 a.m. at St. Matthias Church

Thursday, August 4, 2016: Mass of Christian Burial at 11:00 a.m. at St. Matthias Church

Interment will be at a later date.  In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to DeMatha Catholic High School Baseball Program, 4313 Madison St., Hyattsville, MD  20781.

Mass Times

Saturday Vigil
5:00 PM
7:00 PM (en español)

Sunday Mass Schedule
8:00 AM
10:30 AM
6:00 PM
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Monday - Saturday
8:30 AM
Holy Days of Obligation
Mass Schedule

7:00 AM
12:00 PM
7:30 PM
*unless otherwise announced

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